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It's Sunday night and I'm sitting on my couch bloated from my 8:00pm Mother's Day request of Casey's Pizza and an ice cold Coke. Is there a better way to end the day? I'm not sure.
Anyway, if you follow me on social media you might have seen that I deleted my social media apps starting on Wednesday because my soul desperately needed a break. Needless to say, it has been glorious and I didn't miss it a bit.
Although I didn't miss it, I did spend a good chunk of my weekend thinking about how I was going to creatively + thoughtfully share my thoughts on Motherhood because my little human heart and it's little wannabe poet/writer desire told me I had to.
Writing has been such an escape for me lately. Whether it's a simple journal entry, a creative poem or a lengthy narrative on my blog, the Lord uses it to free my soul in a way other things do not. BUT, that being said, it's not something I can force. So me telling myself I ‘have to’ write something about motherhood probably wasn't going to produce much (there are far to many I's in that statement to get me much of anywhere, TBH).
If I want to write something creative (specifically more poem like) I can't just sit down BAM literary magic (LOL so dramatic). It has very much been, the Lord places an idea on my heart at THE MOST RANDOM TIMES and I have to write then and there for it to be semi decent--in other words, I gotta rely on The Spirit.
So, my hopes for this super cool, creative motherhood tribute, write up, poem, whatever you want to call it were not in the cards this weekend. Instead I ended up with 4 pages in my journal of I remember statements from the minute I had a positive pregnancy test in 2020 to the minute Nell was born in 2023. I image that will become something someday, but until then it is safe inside the peeling covers of my journal.
Now, the Lord might not have given me the clear, creative, full of imagery, emotional, inspirational words that I just thought I ‘had to’ write this weekend for my very small corner of the internet to read, instead he did one better (PER USUAL, always giving us better than our little human minds can imagine).
In His absolute kindness, he reminded me of the most important thing I've learned in my journey of motherhood over the last 4 years. The one thing that I have to cling to every single day so I don't fall prey to idol worship that looks a lot like being a mom.
Are you ready for it?
Here it is: Motherhood is not my purpose.
Here is what I mean, I am not more purposeful because I am a mother. Rather, my motherhood is more purposeful because my purpose is to glorify God in all that I do.
Sit with that for a second.
Motherhood is a role that we were given in God's good and beautiful design. Therefore it's obviously important and should be cherished and taken seriously.
Be fruitful and multiply he told Adam and Eve, fill the earth (Genesis 1:28). Motherhood (and fatherhood) was a job that they were given as a byproduct of their original purpose. Which was to be mirrors on earth of the triune God and work and keep the land (Genesis 1:26-31), therefore glorifying him in the process.
Without getting into the deep depths of this theological concept (which I would LOVE to do with you 1:1, let's get coffee) I just want to encourage you to think about this and find comfort in it.
We are only mothers because we were first God's creature (one of my favorite lines from CS Lewis). Which means our most important job and our original purpose is to know Him, enjoy Him, love Him and glorify Him. That's it. That's why we were made.
Motherhood is a sweet gift that a lot of us get to do that through, but some of us do not. As a result of the fall (Genesis 3), not all of us are going to be able to be fruitful and multiply. Our perfect bodies were corrupted by sin when Adam and Eve ate the fruit, so infertility is a real, real, real issue that plagues so many women. Which is why our purpose is not greater because we are mothers.
Consider it like this. Is my neighbor or your neighbor have less of a purpose because she hasn't bore a child? Absolutely not. She is purposeful because she is an image bearer of God. Her purpose is to know God, enjoy God, love God and glorify God--just like you and me. Her gift in doing so might not be the vehicle of motherhood.
Which of course leaves a hole in her that only God can fill because although motherhood is not our sole purpose it is a part of the original design and when we can't step into that role because of the corruption in God's design, from the fall, we mourn (and so does God).
My journey in motherhood has been more sanctifying than anything I have ever done. Every single day the Lord humbles me and reminds me that when it comes to telos (our purpose) we all have the same. It doesn't matter if you're thirty or three.
My purpose is to glorify God in all that I do and it's also my toddler's purpose. Where we start to see a difference is in how we are able to do that (me as a mother, her as a child). I have to submit to the original purpose in which God created me otherwise I am sunk.
I am not more purposeful because I am a mother.
My motherhood is more purposeful because my purpose is to glorify God in all that I do.
How is that comforting and freeing? Because the Lord's design is good and beautiful and he is trustworthy. When we submit to it hold Him above all else (even the goodness and beauty of motherhood) than he establishes our plans (Proverbs 16:3). Praise God.
Phew.
That is what the Lord sweetly reminded me of this weekend and because my bloated pizza belly made it impossible for me to leave the couch, you have the pleasure of reading this muuuuuuuuuch longer than anticipated email (now turned blog post), that I hope made sense but I'm actually unsure because at this point my eyes are squinting and hazy.
Good lord, okay. Well, I pray that the Lord uses this to encourage your heart or maybe even convict you. If it's conviction, don't cower, let him gently show you the way. I've been there, it's painful but his way is better, I promise.
In All Things,
Avery
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